Picture this: I’m currently trying to type all this while feeding Leo, telling Savvy to not sit so close to the tv… petting my cat Kendall who’s apparently extra lonely today & trying to take at least one sip of my coffee before it gets cold.. again. Can you say multitask professional lol. I finally decided to sit down (actually I finally found time to sit down between Leo’s 30 sec naps & Savvy’s wild self) to talk about the two months I got to take off with my two little munchkins & the toll my body went through…. I decided to share it all with you guys so bear with me because I’m about to get pretty real here..
The first month. well actually the first couple weeks to be exact. I wont lie to you, I struggled.. there’s no other way to put it. I don’t want to sound selfish because trust me I am SO so so so thankful for being able to carry and have my two beautiful children & LOVE being a mom more than anything, but pregnancy & post pregnancy is no joke on my body, mind and soul.
I’ve never been diagnosed with any type of anything but I’ll diagnose myself and say postpartum defiantly takes a toll on me. Those first few weeks my hormones were craaaazy, I mean like UP then DOWN then back up.. like which way you going girl, I wasn’t sure. I was dealing with so much anxiety & mood swings. You couldn’t see it, but inside I don’t think I knew if I was coming or going with how I was feeling… honestly god bless Jordan for dealing with me! I’m telling you guys this though because I feel like life through social media can sometimes look so perfect from the outside looking in, usually it isn’t & that’s okay because nothing & no one is perfect & sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you’re not alone. I reeeally really struggled with learning how to share my time between my newborn Leo & my 3 1\2 year old Savvy, sounds like such a silly thing, doesn’t it? I was holding so much guilt on my shoulders because Savvy was starting to act out a lot and I knew it was because she was jealous… she defiantly had a case of the only child syndrome! It seemed for those first two weeks every time I was holding Leo, Savvy would cry & every time I sat him down to play with her, Leo would cry. I felt so bad & so torn, therefore was struggling tremendously.. Then reality must have slapped me because I realized it’s okay Mia, you have TWO children now & I’m sure other mothers go through these feelings of guilt too. It’s normal. I’ve realized that it’s okay to put him down and pick her up and it’s okay to keep holding him & make her wait. However I still wish that I had an extra set of arms though!! Another reason I think I was struggling with my extra high levels of anxiety is because I felt like I had no way of getting my stress levels out. I love to run. Plain & simple, that’s my way of destressing myself. obviously, you can’t workout directly after having a baby… & the whole just take 10 seconds and breathe in & out wasn’t doin it for me either! This is what finally worked for me… I am in no way advising or telling you to take this, I’m just sharing because this is what worked for me personally. When I finally admitted to myself that I needed a little extra help, I turned to some advise Jordans sister had given me. She had suggested St. Johns Wort to me before when I was going through a stressful period of my life, so I thought why not try it now & see if it helps. It did, & still does. St. johns wort is a herb from a flower, & helps with many things, including anxiety & depression. Of course there is side effects, so that’s why I would not suggest taking it unless talking to your Dr first! For me, it seems to help put some “good vibes” back into my mindset & helps me not feel so on edge when I get stressed. Of course I’m a little nervous to share all of this with you guys, but I figured if I can at least let one person who feels the way I did know they’re not alone, then it’s worth it!
Now I know I just said a bunch of negative stuff I dealt with, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy & LOVE being home with my precious babies for two straight months. Especially after I got a handle on hormonal self!! So can we finally get to the GOOD STUFF! My littlest munchkin Leo is now over 2 MONTHS OLD… cue the tears, he’s growing so fast!! Below is his little one month picture! Being able to share so much time with my children was wonderful… I was able to bond and connect with Leo & spend so much quality time with my Savvy girl. We would make eggs every morning (savvys favorite), & have daily dance parties, I drank A LOT of coffee & still do lol, & had tons of cuddle time! I was able to work with Savvy a lot more with her letters & learning, & also had a little extra time to try an teach myself a little about photography (which I secretly love). Netflix & blanket forts became a thing, and I even accomplished getting both my munchkins to take a nap at the same time a few times! Savvy has become my BEST helper, she loves to feed her little brother & give him Eskimo kisses on the nose, & when he cry’s she’ll say “AH reallyyy mommy.. AGAIN, he’s really crying again!” while trying to shove his binki in his mouth! picture a 3-year-old saying that, lol! Having two children is defiantly a game changer… but I love every minute of our busy lives!
We ended my maternity leave with the best ice cream!! YUM 🍦